Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Right on schedule

How to recover from major surgery:

Days 3-9: Spend most of it in pain, and calling for help every time you need to move. Try to remember why you left the hospital where the nice, nice nurses kept you drugged up on demerol. Begin to wish that you brought one of those movable beds with you. That would have made life so much easier.

Day 10: Spike a fever and end up in the ER for two hours only to have them tell you it is something "viral" which means one of two things: (1) they have no idea what is wrong and they won't give out any drugs or (2) They don't believe you had a fever and they won't give out any drugs. Either way, nobody's getting drugs!

Day 15: Become allergic to the pain meds. Have your feet feel like they are on fire and you want to scratch them off. Spend the night awake wishing there was some way to detach your feet then reattach them when the itching and burning stops. Call the pharmacist and have her tell you that ibuprofen cannot be causing the itching. "Maybe it's a new pair of socks" she says. Hang up on stupid pharmacist and call another pharmacist. Other pharmacist says "Uh oh!" when you tell her the problem. Have smart pharmacist confirm the allergic reaction. Call the doctor. Get Benadryl. Buy Aleve to help with the pain because Advil has ibuprofen, the thing that you are now allergic to, and Tylenol has acetaminophen. Acetaminophen makes you vomit, and vomiting with an 8-inch incision really, really hurts. Take Benadryl and hope it stops the itching. Take Aleve and hope it stops the pain.

Looks like my recovery is right on schedule!


The Spencers said...

Oh, Michelle that does not sound like fun. I can relate with the itchy feet, that's how I reacte to medicine that I'm allergic too. That's also how I was (my whole body) when I was pregnant with my girls. Not fun. So I can sympathize. I really hope you start feeling better.

Happy New Year!

SongbirdMama said...

Oh you poor, poor thing. That hubby of yours better be being awesome!!

The Samples Sampler said...

Janae, itchy all over your body?!? Oh my! I would not be able to handle that! The feet were bad enough!

Erin, Husband is being AMAZING! He is a great nurse.

Ashlee said...

Sounds horrible! So sorry! What type of surgery did you have???

ryanmiles82 said...

YIKES! I'm sorry that it's going so poorly. Wish we could pop out there for you...Put Ryan to work, eh?!